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08 November 2012 @ 11:54 pm
Alright guys. So here's how it is. I was going back through my old livejournal when I realized that I had not posted on it in three years and the people on my 'friends' list were not people I care about any longer. Going back to read old journals I remembered why I abandoned that account, yet here I am wanting to start it back up. Why? Well, to be honest the more I look back on those old journals, the more I realize that while I may have been immature to whine about the furry drama, I wasn't wrong.

but that's a story for another time.

Anyway, I'm gonna start posting on my old livejournal again andI was thinking people could follow me there for a more concise breakdown of my day to day drama so people understand a bit more about why I am so bitter. I have lots to say, and in 2007 I didn't go a day without posting SOMETHING, so you can likely expect an actual flow of JOURNAL entries. Thing is, these entries always cause drama, mostly because it's a mental vomit with little to no filter. I have been doing a lot to keep MOST of my heated opinions off Fur Affinity because I know how fucking annoying it is to have someone spam your inboxes with whiny emo drama.

Truth is, I don't want to cause drama, but I do need to vent, and like before, bottling it up and taking it out on virtual citizens in Assassin's Creed or Red Dead Redemption or Skyrim just isn't working anymore. That's what I used to do as a kid. my mother would mentally and verbally abuse me, taking advantage of me at every turn, and I kept it to myself, only rarely venting to very close friends. it eventually got to the point where I was getting depressed and suicidal, so my one perceptive friend urged me to let it out and tell him, an act that ended with me crying as I described the horrors I fantasized about committing on my family. I learned to vent my anger and release my tension by confiding in others, but as time went on I kinda realized I was being a little overdramatic, so I shut myself in again.

Many years of quiet stoicism later, I found the furries. Sure, I was known for being outspoken and kinda silly, but I rarely spoke of the bullshit I was dealing with at home. I moved out after I finished high school, I went to live with friends in a nearby town, and I got introduced to the furry fandom, where I found oddly at home, as many do just out of high school. I was introduced to the fandom in a very unconventional way, by a friend who professed he was a dragon in spirit, and he sent me to Yiffchat. If anyone knows what yiffchat is, feel free to laugh. anyway, I met some locals through there and I went to the furmeets, where I kinda got the wrong impression that the fandom was for self expression, and that for some reason sexual taboos were okay to talk about. They may be online, but not with this group. I kinda picked up on the fact that the people at the furmeets didn't greatly appreciate my talking about my ability to shove a fist up my ass, but I kinda kept with it because SOME members encouraged it and loved hearing about it or sharing their experiences; anyone who's ever been in a situation like that knows how appealing someone who shares your deep dark secret can be. Anyway, long story short there was more than my fair share of drama between me and the other members of the group, ranging from general "Keep your fetishes to yourself" sentiment, to some more aggressive stuff regarding my taste in partners as well as multiple members basically doing all they could to make me look bad. (Though my unwillingness to keep my mouth shut certainly didn't make their job hard.)

Basically, I got trolled hard and I was a fun guy to troll.

Looking back on those days, I can't deny I was stupid to react the way I did, and I should have definitely been more subtle about broaching such topics as self anal fisting and other sexual fetishism, but to be fair, it wasn't like they were very good at communicating, either. they approached my behaviour with the maturity and subtlety of a high school drama queen, outing me. I got enough immature drama in high school, and by the end I wasn't putting up with it. once I got out and made it to college, I realized how pathetic and petty this behaviour was, so instead of bowing to pressure and letting them get to me, I basically fought back by nullifying their criticisms and being a douche about it. Can't shame me into silence if I'm not ashamed of what I do.

like I said, in retrospect I wasn't acting mature either, but many of the more subtle issues I wasn't wrong about. I had my fair share of drama with multiple members of the group, and while my own demeanour was unacceptable in group form, my stances dealing with the more personal drama I still, to this day, maintain to be the correct stance. Oh god, I remember the Gummi incident. Still don't know WHY that was an issue. Elicia, wow, that was pathetic, too.

But that's all in the past. I'm still outspoken, I'm still arrogant, I'm still loud and obnoxious, but things have changed. my drama output is as low as it's been in about a decade now, and I'm looking to keep it there.

Problem is, things aren't going too well and I need something to release the pressure.

I don't want to dredge up old drama. I don't want to relive my time butting heads with the London Furs or Bad Dragon, and I certainly don't want to be seen as a troublemaker or excesively negative person, despite the fact that the last 5 years has basically been nothing but that. aside from the time I spent in college and some of the more enlightening opportunities I've been given, the last 5 years of my life have been a nightmare for someone like me.

So I think that, after all this time, I'm ready to let off some steam. I need to re-open the livejournal, and I want to know who will check it out. much as I do love to vent, without an audience to hear it and respond, there's really no reason to post it. I will put it on my livejournal because I'm sick of potentially inciting drama here on FA, where I have over 2200 watchers (a feat I never thought I'd accomplish. Hell, even after being fired by BD I had only 1200 watchers!). So yeah, not a fan of causing drama, but I do need to vent, and I would like an audience of people who are willing to listen.

So I am going to be splitting up my social networking. FurAffinity will be my main hub, and each of the other sites will function as different places to post shit.

FurAffinity will be for art and stories, as well as the occasional journal and link-share.

Sofurry will exclusively be for porn stories.

Weasyl will be another for art and stories:

Livejournal will be for rants and journal-ey stuf:

And I've decided not to use inkbunny. sorry, I just don't care for the terrible layout or the fact that I can't seem to ever go there without seeing cub or diaper fetishes.

So guys, tell me where YOUR stuff is, and watch my other accounts!
23 November 2009 @ 12:53 pm
I can take pride in knowing I can do it!

I guess I win, eh? *+1internets*
Been a while since I last posted, a LOOOOONG while.  Why?  becuase I've been busy as hell, yet so insanely bored and ecstatic with life.

I haven't been doing a while lot.  I mean, I want to write a billion things, but now that I actually sat down and tried to write something, I can't think of anything important.

Perhaps I'll come back and write somethin glater....
28 June 2009 @ 01:05 pm
I like Michael Jackson as much as the next 80's kid, but let it the fuck go.  Every time some celebrity dies, the world turns into a neverending smorgasbord to masturbating over their corpse. 

I was sad when Carlin died
I was sad when Jackson died
I was sad when....okay, that's about it.

the world has lost a LOT of great minds, great influences in the world of music and comedy, but you know what, their deaths are not more important than yours, or mine.  These people are NOT better people than your average Blue Collar Men and Women, and I'm sick of the fact that "the internet stopped" when MJ died. 

The thing that pisses me off most is that apparently the death of a celebrity (even one as famous, loved, and influential as MJ) is apparently bigger news than the fact that North Korea is ready and willing to try blowing up the US with nuclear weapons....yeah, news really has it's priorities set.

Fuck off, if I hear one more mention of "long lived the king", I'm going to headbutt you into oblivion.

You know, a Week ago, I was listening to his music happily, I never got sick of him.  I'm ready to burn my MJ albums now, after only a few days of him being dead.  God I hate people.
27 April 2009 @ 06:16 pm

Old Topic, I know, but I needed to post something, and I thought...why not? 

feel free to skim.

Behind the Cut, an essay! Collapse )
02 April 2009 @ 04:56 pm
Yeah, I'm still alive.  I still want to write, I even want to talk about my life, since so much has happened in 2009, but instead, I've got real friends who I communicate with IRL, and I no longer care to post all my trivial shit on here on a regular basis.  I will, however, give a quick point form list of the things I've done/accomplished/had given to me in 2009: 

1 - Got a new place to stay, and am currently living with a good friend in Burlington
2 - I work for a friend online now, and pull in almost 1000 dollars a month doing something I'd gladly do free of charge.
3 - I went to Vancouver on an all-expenses paid trip to do an Olympic Preliminary, and loved it.
4 - Was offered a job in which I'll be getting paid between 230-300 dollars a day, as well as an hourly wage
5 - Got an Xbox 360, which subsequently Red-ringed on me within two weeks.  I have yet to replace/fix it.
6 - Started my own small furmeets in Burlington.  Only small, like 5-10 people, and they aren't regular.
7 - Got a product put on the market based on my Fursona
8 - Climbed up a small mountain (just the one in hamilton, if you can even call that a mountain)
9 - have been asked to edit/film/shoot assorted projects from a college presentation to gay porn.  I've declined all requests.
10 - my DVD collection has surpassed 400 titles. 
11 - was in a semi-serious accident.  partially wrapped the car around a telephone pole.  if we'd been only a foot back, I likely would have had my entire right side shattered. we're fine though.
12 - Finally did something computer oriented before my brother (got a dual-screen setup.) 
13 - Beat Resident Evil 5 in 2 days (a record for me, usually games take months)

I also have a few things on the immediate horizon that I plan on doing soon: 

1 - Join up with the Karate place across the road from where I live.  I loved martial arts when I was young, and I want to get back into it.  I was actually in good shape at that time in my life.
2 - Get a 50+ inch screen LCD TV and a surround sound setup.
3 - Go to Anthrocon (no worries, I won't pester any of you)

Watchmen was great (if you can appreciate what Allan Moore was trying to do)
Monsters Vs Aliens was okay, seemed more like an episode than a standalone movie
Taken was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time
Slumdog millionaire was good, but entirely overrated
The curious Case of Benjamin Button was absolutely fantastic
Gran Torino was surprisingly touching, and a great last movie for Clint eastwood
Paul Blaart Mall Cop was as bad as I expected
the wrestler was really well done, but still kinda boring and far too deliberately amateurish for my likes
Twilight had a good story, but was so poorly acted and directed that I couldn't help but rip it apart.
The Day the Earth Stood Still surpassed my expectations, but was no War of the Worlds
Yes Man was surprisingly funny, but not as funny as the reviews would leave you to believe
Seven Pounds was interesting, but boring.  final Scene was genuinely wrenching

That'll be all for now.
25 January 2009 @ 12:39 am
yeah, still here. 

Won;t be posting on my livejournal all too frequently due to...you know...everything i would say would be spread around like wildfire and  used to mock me, and I'd rather avoid that.

got a dream job, get paid a lot of money to do something I'd gladly do free of charge.

am possibly getting a raise.

cannot find an internship in spite of putting out over two dozen Resumes, 5 interviews, and god only knows how many calls.

Living with a fellow furry, couldn;t be happier. 

Keyboard no longer works, have to plug in an external one.  well, actually only the 'm', Colon/semicolon, apostrophe/quotation, and delete key don't work.  That is hilarious. you don't realize how important those keys are until you lose them. 

Have been getting SO much goddamn art lately!  my god, you have no idea!  if only i could show you all the giftart I've gotten from the following people:

Martyrwerewolf (god only knows how many pictures)

suddenly I'm popular....

Also, I will probably be going to Anthrocon this year....and I likely won't have to pay a dime for it.  in fact, I will be PAID to go!  Meet up with Narse and Athus, as well as Varka, Raith, and a few of my other new friends.  It's gonna be good!

any questions, feel free to ask. 
28 December 2008 @ 11:51 pm

For fuck’s sake, why can’t anything go the way it’s planned?  I know it’s just a fact of life, but I’ve only been in this fucking house for 32 hours, and I’m already going insane.


You see, it’s not just one thing or another, it’s ten things all stacked up at once.  First and foremost is the internet.  It sucks here in the first place, I knew it going into this obligation, so though unfortunate, it’s nothing to complain about.  The problem is that not only is it slow, but it’s fickle and irritating. I tried uploading some pictures I took via a RAR on megaupload, and the file is pretty big, so the upload too like 2 hours.  At the end, at 99%, the file stopped dead….and refused to go any farther.  Not wavered, I tried it again, this time it was an hour and a half later, and it froze at 78%....about 4 hours of waiting, and NOTHING to show for it.




So, on top of that, I recently got hired by an online friend to keep and maintain his forums, as well as deal with customer services, complaints, and questions.  So, I try to go to the site, and apparently it’s blocked here!  I WORK for this company, it’s incredibly important that I do my job.  Well, I was talking to the boss about this, and he had me go through all the steps to find out why I couldn’t access the site, and apparently the ISP is cutting me off from redundant bandwidth, in an attempt to keep the total bandwidth limit down, or some retarded fucking shit.


So, the internet sucks, and I can’t get on the ONE site that’s actually important….


Then, pissed off because of this, I whip out my Playstation so I can play some games or watch a movie.  I plug it in, turn it on, and turn the TV on.  It’s not on the right channel, no problem.  I just have to get the remote and….where’s the remote?  I look high and low, there’s NO fucking remote!  Without it, I can’t watch anything but a salt-and-pepper fight.  Seriously, I took apart that entire cabinet looking for it, I looked all over the kitchen, living room, dining room, and even the bedrooms…no remote.


No remote means I Can’t use the TV.  That means no games, no movies. Add that to poor internet, and that’s 2.5 things out of 3 gone….


So, I think “no problem, I’ll just call someone over to keep me busy!  Maybe we can go to a movie!  There’s a theatre in Brantford, and I have a gift card!” 




I wasn’t shown the keys, so I can’t leave the house.


Well hey, gotta look on the bright side of life, right?  At least I have the new years party!  Wait, no, all the people I invited can’t come!  My brother can’t because my mom’s being a lazy bitch, and is using the “oh, but he has friends coming over” excuse.  Demias, Cyrakhis, and Brian all have plans, as well as their significant others.  Cole and Tristan are the only ones left, and they were only ever maybes.


No internet, no TV, no Movies, no games (except my PSP, which rocks, Ratchet is an awesome game!) and no access to the outside world.  no freedom, nothing.


All I can do is masturbate….a lot. And even that gets boring fast.


And to make matters worse, last night as I was lying down, ready to go to bed, talking to my friends, the power went out. Now, call me paranoid, but the people who live here are pretty well-off, and have been robbed in the past multiple times. The weather wasn’t bad, so I saw no good reason for the power to suddenly go out. (no storm or anything.)  needless to say, I was a little freaked out, my mind was running wild with possibilities.  Plus it didn’t help that the dogs were barking at the wind, making me think someone was out there.


I got almost no sleep last night, as the power kept flickering…and I didn’t get power back until something like Noon. Needless to say, I was unhappy, freaked the fuck out, and angry. 


So, here I am, tired and pissed off, can’t do pretty much ANYTHING, nobody here to keep me busy.  I think, to treat myself, I’m going to use the credit card number she gave me to buy myself pizza and wings.  At least she DID say I could do that. (she was very adamant that I could order pizza as much as I wanted, and was sure to include wings in that deal.) 


At least I got one good thing today:  a friend showed me a sketch she’s working on, and it looks fucking badass!  She also did a naga, and I kid you not, a got llama girl!  She rules so much!

27 December 2008 @ 12:42 am
So, I was out at Wal Mart, admiring what I could of the deals there, generally griping becuase I only had 60 bucks.  well, I was looking for Crisis Core, when two people came up looking for something in the PS3 section of the store.  I didn't hear most of the conversation that transpired, but the kid (no more than 10 years old) was like "I want ghost recon!" to which is mother said "it's pronounced 'wreck-un'"  The kid said "no, it's 'ree-con'"

Well, that's all well and good, the kid was right, and the mother, clearly unable to handle criticism, reached down, grabbed the kid roughly, and gritted her teeth, growling, "Listen to me, I'm 34 years old, I know how to spell!" 

Well, apparently she didn't even know what she was doing wrong, as it was pronunciation she needed to be corrected with. 

so I pipe up behind her, not too loudly, but enough that she could hear, "Actually, he's right, it is pronounced 'ree-con'." 

if looks could kill, I tells ya, I would be dead right now. 

It shows that parents are not always right.  And don't give me any of this "she was stressed, give her a break" bullshit.  you don't grab your kid and make like you're going to beat him over a pronunciation error....especially not when he's right and you're wrong.

Sometimes....I love to stir up shit with stupid people. 
18 December 2008 @ 11:19 pm

Okay, back in...what was it?  April?  May?  Well, I bought into the hype about another Grand Theft Auto game....

A little bit of backstory, so you know I'm not just an anti-fanboy.  first of all, I started with GTA III, like 90% of the players out there, I'm no old-schooler, I just liked the whole Sandbx mechanic and surprisingly fun gameplay.  Anyway, didn't take that one seriously, like most, I played to kill people and steal cars, so it took me forever to beat it, but I loved every minute of it! 

along comes Grand Theft auto:  vice City.  like many, I thought this was essentially GTA IV....but I was wrong.  What it did right was make a bigger, more colorful world, added a GREAT story made up of 80's mob stories, great characters, better gameplay, and better vehicles.  The world was more fun, the missions were more fun and varied, and the character was a great fucker voiced by a great actor.  I actually dropped the cheat codes and got REALLY damn good at this game (like, remembering where all 100 packages, 50 rampages, and the other shit was by heart.)  I got GOOD at these games becuase of Vice City. Oh, and did I mention the property/asset missions? best things in GTA if you ask me...

Then, we get San Andreas.  Not so colorful world, and admittedly the story didn't catch me (urban 90's setting bores me...not as fun as the whole mob/Miami scene), but the gameplay was in every way superior!  Stat building, character customization, even BETTER missions, and some awesome vehicles.  they did away with asset missions, but the homes you can buy were fantastic!  plus, the world itself was lush and believeable, with sprawling countrysides and mountains and even underwater areas.  did I mention you could swim now!  everything was impoved, in spite of my distaste of the main character and the story.

some of the things that, in my opinion, make the GTA games so great is that they are so immersive, and so realistic, but they never forgot they were video games, and therefore didn't take themselves too seriously.  I loved that you became some crime lord, or ended up 'owning the city' in some situations.  I liked the silly humor and the movie references/ripoffs, that's what made GTA for me.  it's the feeling of going "oh, that's scarface!"  that really catches you.

Grand Theft auto pretty much took away everything I loved about Vice City and San Andreas....and pretty much tried to show that graphics meant everything.

So, all the news starts pouring in about GTA IV (herein referred to as just 'IV'), and becuase I've had such a great experience with past GTA games, I'm thoroughly excited.  I have no money, but I give head on the corner for the money to get it (kidding, I did do a bunch of odd jobs for 5-10 bucks here and there though.)  weeks before it's release, I'm hearing absolutely fantastic scores from EVERY major publisher.  for a short period of time, both the PS3 and 360 versions share the #1 and #2 spots, respectively, on the Gamerankings.com best reviewed EVER chart.....So needless to say, I'm thoroughly pumped.  still to this day, they remain #2 and #3, I think.

anyway, I hold off on getting the super duper pack with all the extra shit, and opt for only the actual game.  friend picks it up, I eagerly pop it in my system and start playing.  First thing I notice?  The graphics are beautiful!  at this point,  I'm believing all the reviews.  the world is a Deep, immersive landscape, with many living people.  but you know what?  I'm instantly not liking the characters.  yeah, they are well voice acted, and Niko's a cool guy, but just about everyone else gets on my nerves.  not in a "eeh, I hope I get to kill them" way, but a "okay, can I kill him NOW so I don't have to listen to him anymore" kind of way.  I instantly hope to kill off Niko's Cousin (I can't even remember his fucking name) which isn't a good thing, since he is fucking calling you every ten goddamn minutes.

anyway, this trend continues throughout the game.  I HATE 90% of the characters.  I pretty much only like the McReary's and Niko, all the other people deserve a shotgun blast to the tits. 

so, I start actually playing, and the first thing I notice aboutt he Gameplay is that the driving is absolutely atrocious.  I know it's not supposed to be precision, but it feels like I'm driving on ice.  what should be a simple turning of the corner has me doing a 180....and getting hit by someone.  I tried to perfect what I like to call 'ice-driving', but even 10 hours into the game, I'm still having a hard time dealing with it. 

So, I continue playing, and at this point it should be made known that the story is pretty much 100% original and serious, no movie ripoffs or silly humor.  I do applaud Rockstar for going this way, as it makes the game far more mature and believeable...but personally, I preferred the movie homages/silliness that was ever-present in the previous titles.  I admit this is just a personal thing, but it's one of the reasons I dislike the game, but review wise, it wins for this.

anyway, many hours into the game, and many irritating characters later, I have to find a new shitty apartment up north.  At this point, still hating the characters, and the gameplay.  For one, the missions are really bland, but I guess that's nobody's fault, I mean, there can only be so many ways to "kill this guy and dump his body in the ocean".  Again, not really Rockstar's fault, but let's leave it at this: if the game were comprised entirely of the "Bank Heist" mission, I would consider this possibly my favorite game.  Nuff said. 

Another thing I, and everyone else with an ounce of sanity, hates, is that stupid date/friendship mechanic!  it wouldn't be so bad, but you're getting a call on your cellphone every mission, in between every mission, and any time you want to fuck a hooker (which, disappointingly, are rare and hard to find.)  then, should you chose to actually indulge the fuckers, you have to do some stupid shit like go bowling, play a game of pool, or go out to a comedy club.  (it wouldn't be so bad if you didn't do the same thing with your cousin as you did with your would-be girlfriend.)  If these missions were actually fun (playing pool was detailed) or unique, then this wouldn't be so bad.  if they weren't so frequent, it wouldn't be so bad.  and the worst of all, if they weren't essentially NECESSARY, then it wouldn't be so bad!

Yes, you heard me, this trivial, boring, and irritating side-quest shit isn't something you can just ignore.  each person you befriend has some super bonus thing you can get from them.  I don't know all the details, but the McReary's give you weapons and car bombs, Brucie has a helicopter, and your cousin owns a cab service....if you want any of these bonuses, then you HAVE to indulge them.

Like I said, if they weren't so frequent, necessary, or irritating, then it would be nice, but no...it happens every time you breathe, they give rewards you want, and they are NOT fun! 

so, once we got past that, we delve deeper into the story...no wait, you have to go to a club with brucie, take your girlfriend out to dinner and a show, then do some drug-running in between....okay, sorry, but that's how it is.

So, when you DO get on with the story, you see something pretty cool developing...I like Niko's story, but again, the characters are NOT likeable.  At this point, I'm wondering "when the fuck can I go out and buy a nightclub or a Car Dealership?  I want a new apartment in the middle of the map!"  but you can't have that, the only places you ever get are story driven.  Again, leads to some realism, but I don't want that! this is another thing they took out that I LOVED About Vice City and San Andreas! I LOVED buying property, and that feature was removed.  they didn't need to be Assets like Vice city, but dammit...it woulda been nice.

also, the world, though living, breathing, and detailed, but it's grey! other than 2 city blocks for the GTA equivalent of Central Park, ther'es no color!  no beatiful skyline, just a lot of grey metal and concrete.  No mountains, forests, golf clubs, or nothing, just stark, boring-assed buildings and roads.  This was another thing I fucking hated.  I LIKED how the previous games were getting more and more expansive, with beautiful landscapes and cityscapes.  this game stripped all that and went back to fuckin GTAIII.....

And why the fuck can't I swim underwater?  I loved looking for clamshells and shit underwater, it was fun! 

that's another thing!  where are my hidden packages?  yeah, they did that stupid pigeon crap, but it's not the same. 

and what happened to stat building?  that was another thing I really liked!  I know it was kinda there, but I liked all that in San Andreas.

Well, at this point in the game, I get to...what's that faggot's name?  the flaming homo guy?  fuck, I forget.  anyway, at this point, I am only noticing flaws and things that irritate me, and I lose all interest in the game.  It's not fun, it's a chore.  that's not the way a game should work, it should be FUN and ENGAGING, not irritating and chore-like. 

At this point, I'll admit I've pretty much only talked about the BAD parts, and completely ignored the good parts.  well, unfortunately, that's how the game plays out.  I couldn't get over all the glaring flaws and irriations to see the beauty in it all.

Truthfully, they made a BEAUTIFUL game....there's no denying that.  The graphics are superb, the city is alive with motion and cool NPC's (I mean the random people on the streets, not the actual characters.) Every little bit about the game was detailed, beautiful, and well done.

there's the radio stations, which are just as funny and well done as ever, maybe better.  there's TV shows to watch, which was a pleasant surprise.  the voice acting is top notch, amongst the best I've ever heard.  the soundtrack is awesome, the story (although not my thing) was very well written and fleshed out.  the cutscenes were phenomenal, and the gunplay was great. 

Not only that, but the online was amazingly detailed and fun!  there were a variety of gameplay modes, as well as an entire goddamn city to blow the shit out of each other in.  This was, in my opinion, the best part of the game, but I never played it, becuase it was glitchy as fuck, and I suck playing online competitively.

To deny all this would be ignorant, the game was polished and worked on a LOT, and it shows.  the game has some of the highest production values I've ever seen in a videogame.  It's like they went to the Halo center for game development.  Make a mediocre, but well made game, shine it up and put a lot of money into it, and spend a billion dollars on advertising, and it'll sell billions. 

Frankly, I'm disappointed.  All the other GTA games were getting better and better, and this is a huge step back.  it's GTAIII, but much prettier.  they took out all the things that made Vice city and San andreas fun, and replaced them with irritating friendship gameplay, irritating characters, a boring city with no contrast to the greys of civilization, and horrible driving mechanics. 


Great soundtrack and Voice Acting
Still funny in parts
VERY detailed and large city
original story
amazing production values


horrible driving mechanics
Irritating friends and girls
Annoying characters
Bland, depressing city
Lacks the humor and wit of the previous games
Lack of Stat Building options
No property acquisition
no airplanes
repetitive missions
No color/forests/mountain

Say what you will, the game had great production values, but it wasn't FUN, and I don't care what anyone says, gameplay comes first.  Also, the fact that this was reviewd incredibly favorably is what makes me so bitter.  Not only becuase that makes it get elevated to some special pedestal of godly games, but it means that Rockstar will continue on this trend....

as a professional - 74/100
own personal grade - 28/100

PS - sorry I destroyed your friend's pages...
16 December 2008 @ 01:40 pm
Last night, and the last week or so were great! The secret Santa/Satan gift exchange was a WHOLE LOT OF FUN, got to see a lot of new furries, and really enjoyed giving the gifts.  Gave lethias his Batman comic, and his batman movie, and he got me The dark Knight on Blu ray, so all is well there.  I was sad at first, becuase Sam was supposed to get me Dark Knight, and got something else, so I thought I wouldn't be able to get it, but alas!  Lethias rules! 

I also got a gift certificate to Cineplex Odeon, which means muchos win on that, Can go see a few movies if I want to now.  Also got a cucumber, that was clever, but 5 cucumbers would have been more clever!

got to see Loki again, which was very nice as well....Then came home. 

I downloaded the newest episode of Heroes (since I miss it every monday), and went to bed.  watched the episide when I got up, then went to do some chores....and decided to check out my school stuff, see if my marks were posted yet. 

As it turns out, I may very well have failed a course....becuase of something that wasn't even my fault.  Me and my partner were supposed to be working on storyboards together, and I ended up doing it all myself.  on friday, I told him "I'm not going to be in class on monday, but I'll leave the Storyboards in your mailbox, can you take them to Denise?"  he had no problem with that and was excited.

At the end of the day, I saw him in the computer room, told him "the Storyboards are ready, alright?"  and he replied, saying "no problem man, have a good weekend and merry christmas!" 

Get an email today telling me the Storyboards never got handed in, and they were worth 30% of my mark....*sighs* Trying to correct the mistake now, but with shit like this happening all this semester (the computers breaking down, Cody not letting me be creative on the show, and Tracey saying I didn't hand in a project that I actually did hand in, and she said she had....ect...it's really making me lose hope in this as a career.  Now my biggest concern is finding an internship, which I'm late to get to, so likely all of them are filled...

Oh, and on top of that, the school fucked up with the deposit information, so I need to magically make 150 dollars appear or I don't register for next semester....and therefore can't go.

Lovely world, isn't it? 
08 December 2008 @ 01:17 pm

At Semester’s End.


Well, I apologize for not giving you the daily grind as I so promised and I’m sure you all dreaded, but hey!  Here I am again! 


Anyway, since my last post, I’ve done the following:


Finished my Semester

Finally watched the finished ‘watched’ product, which I’m embarrassed about

Moved out of Bonnies

Moved into my parent’s place

Somehow managed to snag about a billion pieces of free art

Got some free gifts in the mail

Ran out of cash

Got told that Osap fucked up yet again


To top it all off, Each of the above has a story to tell, so I’ll try to limit each one to one paragraph to save your precious friends pages.


I finished my semester, finally handed in all my work, and it pissed me off because things just kept getting in the way.  I’ve officially lost 90% of my passion for both writing and filming over the course of this semester.  I still want to do it, but with only one semester left, there’s little keeping me coming back other than the fact that I’ve gone too far to give up now.


Watched SUCKED FUCKING HORSE ASS!  And not in the fun, kinda silly way.   The show was horrible, boring, and didn’t flow at all.  I blame it on everyone, even myself.  All I wanted to do was make something interesting, and right from the beginning, I got fucked over.  I wanted to do a story about zombies or telepathy, but Cody, right from day one, had no aspirations and told me to make a story about something simpler.  That attitude went on right till the end of the project. “no, simpler camera shots!  Simpler locations! Simpler story!  I can’t film that!”  ugh, and it shows, the story is bland and uninteresting for it, and I’m embarrassed to have my name on it.  (and to top it all off, after all that, the story I ended up writing required NO high definition, but we had to do it in high def anyway, in spite of the lack of REASON.) 


I decided I wasn’t putting up with bonnie’s shit any longer, so I told my parents I was going to deal with bonnie till the end of November, then go to Lisa’s for the few days of school left.  I told Bonnie on the way out “hey, I found a place to go for January, I’m not staying her for December, okay?”  she was like “oh, that’s good, because I was moving in January, and I was gonna tell you on the 1st…”  yeah, thanks a lot you inconsiderate cunt.  Thanks for the advance warning.


I’m now with my parents until Christmas.  I have all my shopping done except the Secret Santa and Secret Satan exchanges. (both of which are gonna be simple to do/get.)  then I go to Lethais’s for a short period of time so I can watch his dogs and house-sit. 


I don’t know how I did it, but all my friends seem in a super-giving mood as of late…I managed to get free art of Ceylon from the following:



DrakainaDawn (three pieces)

Ramnov silver Scales (feral)

A friend who’s name I can’t say (three pieces)






And a few others whom I chose to keep to myself. Not only that, but I have four bloody gifts in the mail!  Each valued at 120-200 dollars a piece!  I ask, how the FUCK do I deserve all this? I mean, I’m kind of an asshole, to be honest, yet people keep going out of their way to get me stuff because “I’m a nice guy.”  I feel so loved.


Then, in a final “fuck you” I was supposed to go out to shop for Christmas, only to find out I had enough for January’s rent, and 40 bucks.  I was supposed to have 4-600 dollars left! How the fuck does 5-10 dollars two or three times a week make 300 dollars mysteriously disappear?  Then, after that lovely crap, I get told “oh, by the way…your osap fucked up.  It was supposed to pay off the downpayment for next semester, but just now after I am told I don’t have any money, I have new debts to pay.



So yeah, lots of fun.

11 November 2008 @ 12:00 pm

Okay, I’ve been talking to people, playing games, observing behaviour, and I’ve discovered something that’s singlehandedly destroying people’s ability to enjoy life:


Having a Competitive nature.


Now, I’m not going to lie, competition can be a good thing.  It encourages us to get better, to be more evolutionarily fit, and in the cases of any company that sells a product/service, it encourages better prices and better service.  Competition is a good thing, competition is necessary, but I’m not talking about survival of the fittest here, I’m talking about a different form of competitive nature.  I talk of that feeling that everyone seems to get that they have to be better than everyone else.


I used to be competitive myself.  I would always strive to be the best at everything I do, because at a young age I was convinced that I WAS better than everyone else.  I was put in gifted programs, got special treatment because I was smart, and was always encouraged to go that extra mile and make everyone else look bad. 


As I grew up, I continued to be competitive, but then it kinda became apparent that no matter how good you are, there will ALWAYS be someone better than you.  Even if you’re the best in the world at one thing, there will be a billion people better at doing a billion other things better than you.  Once you’re actually shown someone who’s better than you at that thing you hold dear, it’s an earth shattering feeling. 


For example, I used to think I Was SO good at guitar hero/Rock Band, till I met Welnis.  He’s not THAT much better than me, but the fact that every time I was proud of some accomplishment, he would be a step ahead of me, it just crushed me inside to think I’d never catch up.


Ever since I dropped my need to be better, I’ve found myself enjoying myself a lot more, as I’m not comparing myself to others. 


I know people who are amazing artists….but refuse to draw because they’re overshadowed by some friend or mate of theirs.  They lose their will to draw, and are depressed because someone is better than them, even though they themselves are amazing!


I recently lost a Rock Band playing friend because he wasn’t as good as me.  He complained, claiming that he hit a plateau and wasn’t getting better, because of this, he’s given up the game.  He’s a VERY good player, but has a few snags on some songs, and because he can’t beat them, he’s quitting.


My friend Lethias is amazing at smash brothers, and he likes to show off by beating everyone and bragging about it.  I don’t like playing with him because of this, it’s irritating when someone who only cares about winning beats someone who only cares about having fun.  When he DOES get beat, he gets angry about it, as if the only way he can justify his fun is by winning. 


I have friends who play games, and aren’t happy unless they are the best, or are some sort of ranked position.  It’s like just playing the game isn’t enough, they have to WIN. 


I implore you, take a step back and wonder:  do I really NEED to be the best to be worthwhile?  Some people really do, and I Feel sorry for them, because no matter how good you are, there is SOMEONE better than you, I guarantee it.


This is why I don’t play competitively anymore.  Now I play for enjoyment.  I play casually.  I like to be better, hitting milestones is great, but you don’t have to be competitive to have fun.  I cannot thrust this point into your ear any clearer. 


I stopped playing smash brothers because of it

My friend stopped playing rock band because of it

My other friend stopped playing cards because of it

I’ve seen people storm away from playing Asshole because they were constantly ass

I’ve seen people go months without drawing a single piece because their boyfriend was more popular and better known

I’ve seen people ignore their families and friends because of their need to be better

There is NOTHING worse than playing someone who’s better than you and rubs it in your face because that makes them feel good.


It ruins lives, and people collectively need to stop it!  It makes playing a chore.  Games/art should be fun/expressive, it shouldn’t be a competition.  Enjoy yourself and your own talents for what they are, don’t berate yourself because of what you’re not.