Epitome of mediocrity

Well, nothing of importance has happened until last night.

in my last post, I mentioned that I Was going to see The Fantastic Four, Batman Begins, and The War Of The Worlds again. well, I made it to chris's, and we decided to go see batman begins first, since I've already seen war of the worlds.

let me get something straight here. I hate batman. I always have, and thought I always will. I've not been impressed by any of the movies, and they have been getting worse and worse all the time (batman and robin anyone?)I have never liked the character, as he has no powers, and he is just.....bland to me.

well, I heard this movie was good, so I decided I'd like to see it. WELL, best decision I've made all summer movie season. the whole thing started by mixing the past and present, and this preent was before batman was batman. so it was a prequel of sorts. well, as the story progressed, I almost forgot it was batman, because the character was very well thought out, had personality, fears, and desires. I love liam neeson as a monk at ras al ghul's mountain place. the batman character seems so much more believeable now, and his roots are clearly explained and whitnessed. the story is fantastic, the acting is superb, and the characters are well thought out, and the bacstory is.....

...well, go see it. I kid you not, it is REALLY good. I mean, I went in there with fairly high expectations, and it still blew me away. I loved war of the worlds, and I think I may have liked batman even more than that. I mean, absolutely impressive. go see it NOW!

aside from that, war of the worlds wasn't as good the second time, but that's because it's a suspense film, and you can only see it so many times. sure, it's got action, but a lot of it is suspense. so it still rates a 9, but no ten on my scale. Chris and I never did get to see fantastic four, I still wanna see that one. I hear it's a fun ride.

well, aside from movies, life's been pretty bland. Chris made me go through all of halo and halo 2 in one bloody sitting on heroic. that's pretty hard, but I did it. according to him, I'm a good halo player, but careless in campaign. well, I Was careless when it was me and chris, I never got hit when it was just me. Chris was showing me the heirarchy of halo players. he is top notch, undefeated in the highest level of xbox live. he is amongst the best with Steve and Sam, two friends of mine. and I am in the second pier of the good players, but not the great ones. I like that title, considering I don't even like the game. the same applies to smash brothers, (though I love that game) I always thought I sucked because I always lost, but apparently since I Was losing to the best, I do quite well. so I get a boost of ego when I beat people who claim to be the best at smash brothers and Halo.

oh well. it's no big deal. I have moe important things to deal with. I still need a job, I still want to get out of this house, and I still want to be more successful than anyone in my family. it's possible even likely, if I can tear myself from this family.

I am getting sick of the females in this family. I mean, my aunt is getting really bad with the guilt trips, and my mother is unnaturally evil. I mean, she has no feeling for the needs and wants of others, she cares not for the big picture, it's all about her. she's hypocritical, lazy, quick to anger, and doesn't realize that everyone around her hates her. my friends hate her, her friends hate her, and everyone sees through her lies. I remember one conversation I had with her. it went a little something like this....

me - Mom, why would you lie to me about something like that?
mom - I don't lie to you about anything.
me (with look of shock) - Mom, you lie to sam, you lie to aunt sandi, you lie to dad, you lie to your friends, you lie to your coworkers, your boss, and the random people you meet, what in the world makes you think I honestly believe you don't lie to me?
mom - (blank look) fuck you.

yep that's what she's like. it's happened, stuff like that happens all the time. wanna know something else she's said to me. "I don't care what you've done, jsut don't lie to me. I HATE liars more than anything else in the world." yep, she says stuff like that. see where I get the hypicrite thing?

well, onto the laziness and dishonesty. ages ago (and still to this day) she will walk right past what she needs, then call me from whatever I'm doing to get her whatever it is that she needs. like walking past the bathroom, then calling me upstairs to go in the bathroom to get her some paper towel. or calling me for ten minutes to get me to come out of my treefort on the other side of the complex to get me to go downstairs to get her some bread. yeah, it's that bad.

on top of that, when I was 12 and under, I would work my ass off for scraps of money as low or high as 2 or 20 dollars. and to me, that was worlds, I was so happy to have that kind of money, and she'd take it to buy cigarettes, claiming she would give it back to me. she still owes me 750 dollars....it added up quickly. that's not to mention the thousand dollars they owe me for big loans as much as 500 at a time. I will never see it, and they get caught up when I don't pay them back for 10 dollar things that I borrow from them. she's a bitch, and never gives me money. it's always dad who gives me stuff.

oh well, I wil get over it, and I need to stop being generous and spending 2/3ds of my money on everyone else. I need to be greedy again. it makes me feel good to get as much as it feels good to give.

but as for my mother, it's gotten to the point where she'll do anything to piss me off, so that no matter what she does, it pisses me off. I realize I've been very unfair with her the past few months, but that's nothing compared to the inconsideration she's given me all my life. I realize I explode with no warning now, with no reason, but it's just the years of anger and rage slowly seeping out. but I really don't care, life goes on, and no matter how many times I try to patch things up, she does nothing but lay the entire blame on me, completely ignoring the fact that she is as much to blame, if not more to blame than me. she refuses to admit flaws, I admit them. but I see more in her, as do everyone else.

so it's pointless to try and reason with her, it's her way or the highway, nothing you say will make her understand. she won't even try to help others. she asks a million things of others, but refuses to do anything for them. she talks behind people's backs, and is a gossip whore, while not even considering the feelings of others. she is an indecent human being, and needs to be taught a lesson.

I have more to say, but duty calls, I shall continue this rant later. gbyes. all I have to say is that perhaps this is why I love ben so much, he's everything I strive to be and everything my mother isn't.

Runa